Boy Crazy
by BattleJoy W
Summary: Sesshoumaru isn't pleased when Rin starts dating. (Oh! The story went up from a G to a PG! Gasp!)
1. Permission

Disclaimer: (Great! Yet another witty disclaimer I have to think of! Screw it!) Inuyasha doesn't 

belong to me. Truth be told if it was, there would be more pirates and ninjas and possibly 

shounen ai for comedic effect (apparently I good at that kind of crap.)

Boy Crazy

by BattleJoy Walton

***

Sesshoumaru, Great Youkai of the Western Lands, sat in the garden of his Winter estate, gracefully sipping a cup of tea while his servant, Jaken, quietly (lest he upset his lord's pleased mood) awaited to possibly refill the cup. Sesshoumaru could see that the grass was getting greener and the buds on the trees were unfurling. Not a speck of snow could be seen, except on the north shaded side of the house, but Sesshoumaru knew that even that would be gone within the week. Soon it would be time for him and his two most faithful followers to go back on the road to survey his lands. 

Normally, the great youkai didn't need to stop for a whole season. The cold of winter didn't faze him and Jaken knew enough not to complain too loudly about it. But he had changed his habits somewhat for the last decade to accommodate his human follower, Rin. Sesshoumaru had to admit though, that it was quite pleasant change of pace to allow himself some respite and luxury.

The manor was quite large and well furnished from the spoils of the previous owner, a weaker great youkai that had enslaved the valley. He had made a off handed comment about Rin to Sesshoumaru and-...well, that was how Sesshoumaru had acquired the property. 

The location on the mountain was quite scenic, nestled in lush forest, and the winters in the area were quite mild. The grateful villager in the village in the valley, gracefully did the things that new lord, Sesshoumaru, required (which was to leave him the heck alone.) 

So everyone was happy!

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" The teenaged Rin slid open the door to the garden and peeked out.

"Ah. Rin. Come sit with me." Sesshoumaru said. Rin smiled and slipped on her shoes and skipped over to sit by her lord. Most people couldn't tell Sesshoumaru's moods from his cold, calm demeanor, but Rin could tell from that sentence that Sesshoumaru was in an extremely happy mood. Thus it was the perfect time to ask something of him.

"Sesshoumaru-sama? May I go to the village festival tonight?"

Sesshoumaru paused for a second, considering to himself. She was 16 and if would be nice for her to have some excitement that didn't include a demon attacking or kidnapping. The village was safe since his presence protected it. "You may, Rin." Sesshoumaru turned his head to his faithful toady follower. "Jaken."

"Yes, milord?" Jaken groveled.

"Escort Rin to the festival."

"Very well, mi-" 

"Actually," Rin interrupted with a slight blush, "There's no need. I already have an escort."

"What?" Sesshoumaru flatly asked, looking up from the hillside with a slightly raised eyebrow.

Rin could barely restrain herself from giggling. "His name is Tatsuya! He's the village leader's son and so very nice. And oh so cute! And..." Rin excitedly went on in a rush about the boy's various qualities and how she had met him a week before when Jaken took her to the village market for herbs and what she was going to wear that night and do with her hair, etc.

Usually, Sesshoumaru would indicate to Rin when he had heard enough and to go talk to Jaken (who was a chatterbox himself in Sesshoumaru's opinion) but not then. Sesshoumaru HAD stopped listening to her but it wasn't because he had tired of it. It was because he was too busy muttering to himself, while his quirked eyebrow slightly twitched. 

"Cute...?"

***

Moving plus writers block has prevented me from writing for a little while. But soon I'll update my 

other fics once I refind the pieces. (Even though my other IY fic is wandering off on it's own. 

Now it's mostly hijinks of Naraku and his brood.)

But this piece is flowing so if I get lots of reviews, I'm sure to give you more quickly. Tell me 

if you think it's worth the effort.


	2. Preparation

Sesshoumaru sat serenely (or so it seemed) on the porch, quietly meditating with his eyes closed. 

"So she's going to the village tonight." He thought to himself, his jaw slightly clenching. "Going to the village. Alone. No, not alone. With a boy. A mortal boy. A mortal boy subject to all the hormones and urges his pathetically weak race is subject to. Urges to take-" Sesshoumaru eyebrow began twitching as he frowned. He took a deep cleansing breath to stop. "I don't need to worry. It's only one night and nothing will happen to the girl."

The distance giggle of Rin from indoors reached Sesshoumaru's keen ears. "Well how about this one!" She giggled, obviously trying on various kimonos behind the blind in her room, then coming out to model for Jaken's opinion. 

(Jaken was, of course happily helping out Rin because he didn't have to go to the festival himself. It was bad enough all the times he was stepped on when he went to market, in Jaken's opinion. "Imagine going into a crowded festival!")

"I like the blue flowers on that one. But this Jaken thinks that maybe that kimono might be too small. It hugs your hips too much."

"It's supposed to. I picked it up the other day specifically to 'accentuate' the curves I have."

Sesshoumaru had heard enough. In a near instant he was in Rin's room. Rin and Jaken, startled blinked up at him as he looked at Rin's kimono. It was a pale yellow silk with embroidered blue flowers tumbling down the sleeves. She looked very nice, Sesshoumaru had to admit, which caused his jaw to clench even more. He didn't want her to look appealing to anyone.

He went to the chest containing her clothing and rooted through it. Finally he pulled out the cloth of a pink kimono with small white flower bunches all over it. Sesshoumaru knew it was bought too large hoping that Rin would grow into it. Very covering and modest. "You will wear this one if you want to go."

"Oh." Rin said, blinking at the clothes for a second before taking it and smiling up at Sesshoumaru. "Very well, Sesshoumaru-sama. I've never been to a festival so I didn't know what to wear. Thank you!" 

Sesshoumaru looked into Rin's innocent face and briefly considered changing his mind and just forbidding her from attending the festival at all but that would have crushed the sweet enthusiastic excitement held in her smile. Now, thoroughly irritated at his own weakness, Sesshoumaru stomped out of the room without another word.

Sesshoumaru paced the hallway. "I am actually getting...upset." He realized he was also unconsciously cracking the knuckles of his fingers. "I am Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands. I have no reason to be upset about this. I will remain calm."

And Sesshoumaru then did go back to his calm and regal manner... for a good one and a half minutes until someone knocked at the front door.

****

Okay! Thanks for all the reviews I got on this story. Its been the most enthusiastic set of reviews I've had. I would like to apologize to the 5 reviewers that got deleted when I was trying to get ffnet to work for me.I reposted them in one lump review.

I will need some help from reviewers. If any of you have any information on Japanese festivals, please share. The only local ones I've been to recently is the Whole Enchilada Festival (celebrating the world's largest enchilada) and the festival for the Virgin of Guadalupe in Turtugas. Not very Japanese is it.


	3. Distraction

Sesshoumaru strode up to the door at lightening speed and flung open the door.

"Excuse me sir but- AHH!!"

Grabbing the boy by the collar and hoisting him into the air with this week's monster claw, Sesshoumaru growled and menacingly powered up the poison in his claws when he noticed something.

Sesshoumaru didn't consider himself an expert on humans. The boy seemed attractive as far as humans go but... but the boy was much younger than Sesshoumaru was expecting. He looked to be a good foot shorter than Rin and had the round eyes and face of a boy barely over a decade old. Possibly eleven or tweleve at the most. And he currently was crying. Loudly. 

"Ah! Ah! Not in the face! Not in the face! What did I do?! Mommy!"

"... You are Rin's escort?" Sesshoumaru paused, not knowing what to think. The boy seemed spineless and young and thus would not be prone to getting fresh with Rin. ::But he's so... I would have thought Rin had better taste... I have human germs all over me now.::

"Rin?! Who's Rin?" The boy panicked, struggling. "You are a youkai aren't you?!" The wide eyed boy stared at Sesshoumaru's claws and struggled some more. "Please don't eat me! I'll taste bad! Oh please don't eat me! Eat my horse!" The boy cowered and gestured to the old greying nag so beaten down by life and so burdened with equipment that she paid the threatening greater youkai, with a near palpable aura of battle, with same regard as a gnat. 

(And the horse's name was "Datto" which mean "one who bounds away with lightening speed." Why? Because the Universe likes irony. So do I.) 

Datto just bent over and munched the small bunch of young grass that had spouted along the path to the house.

Sesshoumaru dropped the boy onto his rear. "State your name and your business here."

"Ichiro, sir! I just wanted some directions to the nearby village! I'm going to be punished by the heavens aren't I ! I didn't see anything when me and Hiro peeked on Sakura and her sister in the bath! Honest! It was just a dare!" 

"... See that you don't do it again." Sesshoumaru blinked and tried not to feel foolish being "a punisher from the heavens". "Why do you want to go to the village?"

"My family are festival food vendors. We sell takoyaki. We usually can't get all the way over to this valley but the spring is early this year. Then my father twisted his ankle when he slipped on some of the ice. My sister and him stayed back in the previous valley. Please don't smite me! I'm the only support of my family! You can't smite the only support of a family!" Ichiro groveled in front of Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru stared down at the pitiful human. "The village is down that path. Take the left road at the fork if you want to go directly to the village." Sesshoumaru turned around abruptly and went back into the house.

"Oh thank you! Thank you for sparing me! May Buddha bless you! May good luck dog your every step! May-" Ichiro called after Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru opened the door. "Human. Leave." He threateningly raised his claw to scare the boy off then stopped as he noticed another's scent.

"Thank you! Thank you!" Ichiro bowed as he backed away bumping into an older boy that had just come up the path. 

"Excuse me." They both said before Ichiro skipped down the path while Datto plodded after him. The other boy walked up to the door.

"Hello. My name is Tatsuyo. Is this where Rin lives?"

*** Thank you to the people that suggested infomation on Japanese festival. With that info, I'm joining to piece together a fictional festival for the village. 

A/N:

Takoyaki- ball shaped snack food made with eggs and wheat, cabbage, ginger, and octopus. (This food is served in modern Japanese festival according to my research and doesn't sound like it has new world ingredients so I'm assuming they might have served it back then.)


	4. Intimidation

"Hello. My name is Tatsuyo. Is this where Rin lives?" 

Sesshoumaru looked at the boy, who looked to be healthy and most would consider handsome (for a human that is) boy around Rin's same age.

"So you are Rin's escort..." Sesshoumaru asked, narrowing his eyes and cracking the knuckles on his own clawed hand. (The other hand, which was clawed, was technically his because he ripped it off the body of his opponent, but it wasn't originally his.)

"Yes I am, sir." Sesshoumaru smirked at the boy's answer. This was the right mortal and Sesshoumaru knew there was a meadow half way down the mountain that he could take the boy in under a minute. Rin would never hear the mortal's screams as he slaughtered him and disposed of the body. Rin would only shed a few tears for being stood-up but she was an obedient girl and would quiet them when ordered. Plus Sesshoumaru knew he could have Jaken run into town for a new trinket for Rin to sooth her.

Sesshoumaru was about to leap when Rin ran down the hallway, past the front doorway. She was on her way to pick up a favorite comb she left in one of the other rooms when she paused and came to the door behind Sesshoumaru.

"Oh Tatsuyo, you are early!" Rin said, smiling. Sesshoumaru noticed, to his utmost horror, that the kimono he had picked out was no longer too big and baggy for her. In fact, the kimono seemed to look even better on her than the one he had rejected. "Let just finish putting up my hair and I'll be all done." She was about to rush off when she remembered her manners. "Oh forgive me. This is my lord, Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru-sama, this is Tatsuyo. I'll be back in a moment." Rin giggled then rushed off.

"It is an honor, sir!" The boy reverently bowed before Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru scowled. Rin knew the boy had arrived and thus he couldn't complete his original plan. He really didn't want to have to hurt Rin. Still, it didn't mean he could scare the boy. 

::But how to do it subtly, so the boy gets the point without this Sesshoumaru having to lower himself to outright verbal threats of how I can rend him apart, tendon by tendon while he is still alive, and then feed his entrails to the carrion birds if he dares to even think a dishonorable thought of my follower, Rin?:: Sesshoumaru pondered to himself. His gaze then fell upon one of Rin's items that was left out on a cabinet at the back of the room. For once, Sesshoumaru didn't feel the need to reprimand her.

"Enter. Sit down." Sesshoumaru commanded to the boy (since when did he politely ask anyone anything?), pointing where Tatsuyo should sit, ignoring the distant yet familiar sounds of Jaken and Rin bickering. 

"Ouch! Stop yanking my hair!"

"Then you need to sit straight and still!" (Et cetera. I can't put down Rin and Jaken's full argument. Too long.)

"Yes, sir." Tatsuyo immediately slipped out of his shoes and then entered. The greeting room was bi-level and with a couple steps running right through the middle. Tatsuyo kneeled down at the appropriate place which was right before the steps. "You want to speak to me?" He asked, a bit too eager and happy for Sesshoumaru's taste.

Sesshoumaru went to the cabinet and picked up the item Rin left behind, which was a fine metal file Sesshoumaru once had Jaken purchase for Rin. Sitting himself in front of a low table on the upper part of the bi-level room, Sesshoumaru gauged his enemy. (You weren't expecting the great Sesshoumaru to really lower himself to the same level as a mortal and have a friendly chat, did you?)

"Yes, I will speak to you. Tell me about your family and your intentions for this evening." Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes as the boy happily started to go on and tell Sesshoumaru about his family and father's position as village leader and other things Sesshoumaru really didn't give a darn about. 

All the while, Sesshoumaru gracefully sharpened the nails of his poisoned claw. ::It is still a bit crude form of intimidation, but it is better than ripping his face off when Rin is expecting him.::

"So I was planning to go first to your festival, sir. This has been the tenth annual event and it's bigger than any of the previous ones! My father said they even hired acrobats all the way from-."

Sesshoumaru didn't feel listening to the details of the humans silly festival. "What do you plan to do afterwards?"

"I thought a walk along the river would be nice." Tatsuyo said, memorized by how Sesshoumaru's fingernails started to appear to be glowing bright green.

"Well I do not think that is 'nice.'" Sesshoumaru glowered, letting a couple droplet of green ichor slide along the file's edge, melting away the metal file's edge and then dropping to sizzle and eat through the table top and then through the wooden floor. "I require my retainers to have a full night's sleep so they can properly complete their duties."

(Of course, Rin's duties included such things as writing poetry for her lord and picking flowers and, occasionally, catching butterflies and thus, she could probably sleep in one day and not let her work pile up that much. But Sesshoumaru would be damned to let the boy know any facts he, himself, would not acknowledge.)

"Yes, sir. I will bring Rin right back." Tatsuyo bowed, sincere to the demon lord glaring at him.

Sesshoumaru was still debating with himself whether he should just change his mind and see if Rin could be appeased by buying a really big gift, when Rin entered the room. 

"Sorry to have kept you waiting, Tatsuyo." Rin said. Sesshoumaru's breath caught. She just stood there, blushingly and shyly looking down, her kimono perfectly arrayed around her. Jaken really had out done himself this time. Her long hair was a masterwork of complex twists and braids, all done up with a pearl inlaid comb Sesshoumaru recognized he had bought for her during their first trip to the area around Kyoto. She extruded innocence and purity and all those other maidenly qualities people babble about when talking about pretty girls.

In short, Sesshoumaru REALLY wanted to hurt someone who's name started with 'T' that was in the room about right then.

~*~*~

Okay, the original purpose of this fic was for the "Sesshoumaru does his version of polishing his shotgun in front of Rin's boyfriend" scene. (Yes, Sess's version basically boiled down to giving himself a manicure in front of the boy. But that's why this piece is humor.)

But if I get a lot of reviews I will continue this because Sesshoumaru doesn't seem the type to trust weak mortal boys. So that means Sesshoumaru at the festival, which will cause much more high-jinks! 

So please review! (You'll thank yourself when I get to the "The Great Sesshoumaru is stuck in fast food" scene.)


	5. Determination

"Rin-san, you look lovely." Tatsuyo blushed. 

"You will bring her home directly after the festival." Sesshoumaru glared at the boy.

"Yes, sir. It is an honor to escort Rin-san and to finally meet you. You can trust me to bring her right back." Tatsuyo grew serious, yet seemed almost giddy as he bowed to Sesshoumaru, which caused Sesshoumaru to narrow his eyes even more. The human seemed TOO sincere and enthusiastic, in Sesshoumaru's opinion. The human seemed to only be respectful, yet not cowering in fear. 

If Rin wasn't there, Sesshoumaru would still be tempted to slit the boy's throat and be done with the trouble.

---

Rin and the human boy, called Tatsuyo, said their goodbyes to Sesshoumaru, who was trying to pretend he didn't care too much for the fate of his follower. They then started down the path that would lead them to the village in the middle of the valley.

After walking a good distance away from the demon manor, Tatsuyo turned to Rin and said, "Rin, since I have to get you home by a certain time tonight, why don't we skip the festival so I can take you to a secluded place where my deceitful tongue will craft promises of my undying love to you? You have been so sheltered by your caring lord for so long and kept from the evils of men, you will be easy prey to my lies. So then I will take your precious innocence and then proceed to break the delicate bloom that is your heart. I will leave you nothing by the seed of my bastard child and the sound of my laughter in your ears as I go to brag to my fellow curs of how I disgraced you and your honorable lord. So what do you think of that plan?"

"Okay!" Rin said, smiling enthusiastically. And together they skipped off the path leading to the village . . . 

Sesshoumaru clenched his jaw. He would not allow his follower fall prey to such a scenario. She had been gone already four minutes. Who knows what could have happened to her?! 

"Jaken." Sesshoumaru summoned his loyal toady.

Usually, Sesshoumaru didn't need any assistance that late in the day and, with Rin finished and gone (Human females take ghastly amounts of up-keeping in Jaken's opinion.) Jaken was already in bed. He wanted to go to bed early so he could have an early start the next day on the preparations for that year's land survey. Jaken scrambled to go wait on his lord. "What, milord?" 

"We are going to the festival." Sesshoumaru reflexively cracked the knuckles on his poisoned claw. He raised an eyebrow at his toad-like servant. "You have exactly one minute to ready yourself. Wash your face." Why someone as ugly as Jaken would insist on wearing a beauty mask was beyond Sesshoumaru.

---

Jaken looked to the side at his stately lord . . . who was somehow still stately even if he was hiding in some bushes.

"Sire, excuse this poor Jaken's confusion, but why are we sneaking into the town to spy on Rin? She is with her kind."

"Humans are vile creatures. Males especially. "

Jaken blinked."But this lowly Jaken thought you morally objected to youkai-human matings, Milord."

"Of course! Rin could never mate with a male youkai. They are too aggressive."

Jaken blinked again. He was expecting an answer more along the lines of his master's previous declarations that such practices only result in disgraceful hanyous like Sesshoumaru's despised brother, Inuyasha. "So you don't want Rin to find a human or a youkai mate. You want her to just remain content and frozen in time as your child follower even though she is human and- eep!" Jaken caught the angry glint in his master's eye and Jaken instantly rethought the utterance of the sudden spurt of insight he had. "This lowly Jaken will be silent now."

Sure, being the voice of reason was a rare occurrence for Jaken, but sometimes being the voice of reason was dangerous.

As they neared the village, they noticed something. A crowd of people bowing before a large white statue of a graceful figure with long flowing hair and robes, stood at the opening of town. The artist had taken great pains to capture the legendary beauty and grace of the figure as well as the personage's virtues of dignity and mercy.

Jaken read the small plaque at the bottom of the statue. "The villages are celebrating your majesty and glory, Lord Sesshoumaru."

"Jaken." Sesshoumaru just blinked up at the statue a bit taken aback. "Do I really look that girly?"

~*~*~

Yuppers. I'm revamping this fic! It is not forgotten!! Expect a one or two week gap between chapters. I'm going to try and stagger them in between my S/K/K fic.

That is IF I get enough reviews for it to keep my attention. So enjoy.

Love all the reviews I've gotten thus far and am hoping to incorporate some of the suggestions into the plot. This fic is going to be the most "Feedback equals ficcage" of all my fics. So plot suggestions are very welcome.

-BattleJoy


End file.
